is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
