Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
