i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
