i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
