You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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