he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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