Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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