I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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