the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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