if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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