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Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
