You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
