I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
