I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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