i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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