We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
now i know why i became what i already was.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
