Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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