I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
