After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
