Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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