So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
