You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
