wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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