He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
