Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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