mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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