NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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