No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
