I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
