Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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