Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
pop tarts are not kleenex
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
