My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
