Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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