He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
