So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
drinking out of a sandbucket again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize