So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
