I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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