We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize