I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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