dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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