You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
