I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Bring me that man meat
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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