I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
