Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
