i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
