Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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