we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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