Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
