whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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