I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
