I must be too annoying 4 u.
just tell him i said nine months
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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