Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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