doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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