I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
