she woke up with a sticky ear
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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