do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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