What a fucking waste of an outfit
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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