Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
