Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
