Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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