last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
